HOW TO DATE A RUSSIAN WOMAN
(by a Russian Woman)

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How to date a Russian womanby Elena Petrova (Elena's Models)

If you want to find out how to date a Russian woman, the best person to ask would be a Russian woman!

There are some specifics you need to know before you start dating a Russian woman, whether you date a Russian woman online or if you are dating a Russian woman offline in real life.

I left Russia more than 13 years ago and there are differences between how men date women in Russia and here in the west. Russian women who grew up in Russia will feel more comfortable if you date them the way they are accustommed to and your relationship will have a better chance.

It's like the food your mother used to cook, no matter how plain or simple it was, you will always feel "at home" if you can get it and using these simple tips you can create an instant connection with the Russian woman you date.

How to date a Russian woman online

If you have met the Russian woman you are interested in dating somewhere through your work or friends, you can just skip this part altogether and jump straight to the part about dating Russian women offline.

However, if you have met a Russian woman online or if you are just thinking about dating Russian women, this first step is very important to give it your best shot.

When dating Russian women online it's absolutely crucial to move your relationship from the virtual to real world as soon as possible. This means, even if you are dating long-distance, start making it more real by talking to each other on the phone or video chatting on Skype every day

Do not get into a virtual romance by exchanging dozens of emails and dreaming in between, without ever talking to the real person. All Russian women in Russia have mobile phones and computer access and if her profile is online, you can be sure she has Internet access and can talk to you on Skype, and surely she has a mobile phone - even old pensioners living on the government pension have them! If the person you are talking to says they don't have a phone or cannot talk on Skype, drop them immediately as they are either: (1) not real, or (2) not really interested in you -- at the end of the day you don't really care which one it is, it's just not going to work. (Do you really think that if she cannot be bothered to arrange a video chat session on Skype, she will be prepared to leave everything she has behind and move countries to join you?)

It's the pet hate of genuine Russian women who list their profiles on online dating sites -- men who just send dozens of emails but do nothing to move their relationships into the real world (you won't believe how many dreamers are out there, who just send endless emails to beautiful Russian women but are too scared to "get real"). If you do it quickly, she will have the utmost respect for you and I can tell you, you will be on the top of her list; all other men won't be able to compete. Communication today is so easy, it's a sin not to use it to your advantage.

Once you've started talking face to face, even if it's just on Skype, you can consider you are dating a Russian woman in real life. Organizing a personal meeting will be just a matter of time; take it into your hands, don't wait for her to ask you out! Dating long-distance, ask how she would prefer to meet for the first time: you coming to her town or meeting at an exotic resort elsewhere (most genuine Russian women prefer the latter and it will be cheaper and more convenient for you to pay for two tickets to a resort than to travel to Russia, believe me!) Don't delay "asking her out" for too long, if you are talking every day, you can ask for a meeting within 2-3 weeks; and if you live close by, ask as soon as you want, she will only find it flattering.

How to date a Russian woman in real life

One thing that never fails dating a Russian woman is learning a couple of Russian phrases; it will give you an instant boost. You may not pronounce it correctly but she will be absolutely thrilled to hear you speaking Russian. It shows respect and genuine interest in her culture, and let me tell you, ALL Russian people are extremely proud of their heritage. Russia is the country with a rich history and lots of cultural and scientific achievements, so if you show respect, you are scoring brownie points every time. 

Some of the important things Russians are proud of:

  • Russia is the largest country of the world, spreading over 11 times zones and it's nearly double the size of the second largest country of the world, Canada (United States is the third largest country, Australia is the fourth)
  • Russian space program. Russians were the first to send a spaceship into the outer space ("Sputnik-1", 4 October 1957) and to send a man into space (Yuri Gagarin, 12 April 1961)
  • Russian ballet. Russians believe Russian ballet is the best in the world and Russia has a very strong theatre culture; musicals, drama, opera and ballet theatres are very popular and well attended. You will read about this love to theatre in many Russian women profiles.
  • Russian soul. This is the thing that's hard to explain; you can refer to it as the "mysterious Russian soul"; being "soulful" and "deep" as opposed to "rational" and "superficial". Just remember they are proud of it; exploring one's deepest motives, desires and emotions is a respectable pasttime. (Tell her you have an interest in psychology and esoteric, and she will think you are absolutely wonderful.)
  • Russian oil and minerals. They have a lot of them and this is where the majority of "new Russians" got their money from. Did you know the largest private boat in the world belongs to a Russian tycoon? (The second largest boat belongs to an Arab oil tycoon)
  • Russian women. Russians believe they have the most beautiful women in the world. It may not be so but Russian women do enjoy taking care of themselves and looking their best every day.
  • Winning the World War II. Some people don't even know that Soviet Union, Britain and United States were allies in the fight against Hitler. Russians believe they were the country that contributed to the Nazis' defeat the most. (Some historians agree) Russia celebrates The Victory Day on 9th May as a public holiday, the day Nazi Germany capitulated to the Soviet Union in 1945.
  • Russian educational system. It's good (although not as good as the Soviet educational system once was); most people have college degrees; it's unusual to meet a Russian woman without a college education. The system of professional education is through colleges and not just short-term practical courses or apprenticeship; so, if you want to learn a trade, they teach you a foreign language, history and phylosophy as well and assign a degree at the end. This results in the system where people know a little about a lot and often not enough about the little they actually need to know to do their job. Professional training starts once you get your first job; the first thing they tell you on your first working day, "Forget everything you've learned in college" (I am NOT joking! That's for real.) However, they won't hire you unless you have a college degree. Go figure.

I could go on and on (did I tell you Russians are extremely proud of their heritage?) but those few things will get you by; most other men don't know even this much.

Yuri Gagarin - first man in space
Yuri Gagarin - first man in space (1961)

A couple of Russian phrases you may want to learn:

  • Privet (pronounced "priii-vet") - means "Hi"
  • Kak dilah? - "How are you doing?"
  • Ochen' kharasho (pronounced "O-chen ha-ra-sho") - "Very good"
  • Kak tiibya zovut? - "What's your name?"
  • Dah - "Yes"
  • Niet - "No"
  • Pakah - "Bye"

Try it with the Russian woman you date and I guarantee it will bring a smile to her face! Seriously, try it - you'll be amazed with the results!

You can also buy cheap "Learn Russian" CD's online that you can listen to in your car; you'll get a great return on your investment. Remember, the point is not to learn the language to perfection (or even to the point where you can speak or understand it) but just to show the Russian woman you date that you care. Your imperfect attempts will pay tenfold.

The next thing in dating a Russian woman, be an old-fashioned gentleman: open doors for her when she gets in or out of the car or a restaurant, open the door and let her go first, move her chair, take her coat or hold her coat for her to slip in, don't ever allow her to carry anything except her handbag, and so on. If you kiss her hand at the end of the first date or when you introduce yourself for the first time, she will think you are awesome! Just do it casually as if this was nothing special, don't fuss over it. In short, treat her like a fragile "lady", like you would be looking after your 90-year-old grand-grandmother. She is not fragile and can totally take care of herself but she will love all the fuss (even if she says otherwise or something like, "You really shouldn't...") She still likes it and those little signs of attention will get you a long way.

Pay for the dinner. There is no such thing as going Dutch in Russia and if you want to split the bill, you will be blacklisted forever. (Even if she says she wants to pay - to avoid it, pay quietly when you leave the table go to bathroom; no woman ever wants to pay for the date.)

Be a leader. Choose restaurants and what to do, of course take in consideration her likes and dislikes and if she hates it, have a backup plan. She will LOVE you for taking her to a play or a musical, see the note about the theatre culture in Russia. She will think you are different from all the other western men and you "get" her.

Dress well. Russian women like to dress up and wear high heels for anything, including a walking excursion on the sity (you can check by inviting her to one). So, dress smart casual for normal dates and really well for more formal outings such as a theatre or a higher end restaurant. Choose long formal pants and a nice shirt with a casual jacket for the first date, to be safe - you can always take off the jacket if feeling overdressed. See how she dresses and dress to match. Choose long pants over shorts unless it's extremely hot, and if choosing shorts, select longer shorts and preferably a good brand which is in fashion right now. If in doubt, ask a stylish lady-friend what's in and to help you choose something "upmarket". You can never hurt your chances by being dressed well on a date but dress badly and this can tip the scales off. Designer labels work great with Russian women: if your fashion sense is far from perfect, designer labels can save the day for you.

If you date a Russian woman living in your country, find a Russian restaurant in your area and take her there. We all love our national food and when you love doing something with someone, this love may just rub onto you :)) If you are ready to go the extra mile, cook her a Russian dinner (borscht, pelmeni, piroshki, plov or blini). Trust me, even if it doesn't turn out well, she will appreciate the effort (to improve your chances, try it at home before cooking for her). Borscht and plov are actually not traditional Russian recepies but Russians love them and they are an integral part of the modern Russian cuisine. Modern Russian girls seldom cook at home (especially if they are single) and if you can cook and not afraid to try her national food, her opinion of you will skyrocket. It works cooking for a Russian woman on a date even if you are visiting her in her country; either offer to cook for her at her home or invite her to your place, assuming you have cooking facilities. Plov is extremely easy to make and hard to get wrong, so if you want to take it easy, I'd recommend this dish. This is what I often cook for dinner parties, always with great results and requests for the recipe.

Now, after all the dating and courting, you may want to know how to move it to the next level. The easiest way to get close and personal with a Russian woman is to take it slowly. A Russian man would probably want to have it all on the first date (it's not unusual and happens a lot) but if you want for this relationship to work, don't! 

First, if it works, she will think that you think poorly of her for being "too easy"; and second, if your attempt doesn't work, you hurt your future chances and your high image of a courteous gentleman. It's better to meet several times for a date (a theatre outing, a Russian dinner, take her to see a sunset in a beautiful setting, Russian women just love being romanced, none of these things has to be expensive, just thoughtful), so, meet for a date a few times without even attempting to kiss her (you can kiss her hand when you say "Good bye"; for a better effect, keep your lips on her hand for a bit longer, it's very sensual yet innocent). She will start wondering if you are even interested in her this way and it will be easier to progress after a few dates. Keep being a gentleman until it works and you notice her trying to touch you or move closer to you, this is where you know it's time to act. The good old champagne will help this important date to work out smoothly; flowers are always nice (both before and after the first intimate contact); choose long-stemmed red roses, those are the universal love flowers and Russian women love them, too.

So, those are some quick points on how to date a Russian woman online or in real life. Just remember not to mention to her you were learning specifics about dating Russian women (one of my friends living here was dating a man who told her how he found my website with all the tips and tricks how to date a Russian woman... this wasn't his best move!) She would very much prefer to think it's just who you are!

With all my best wishes,

Elena

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: 

Elena Petrova is the founder of www.ElenasModels.com and Russian Brides Cyber Guide (www.womenrussia.com). She has a degree in philosophy and a tongue-in-cheek view on the subject of international marriages. Her agency Elena's Models has clients in 176 countries and is bringing genuine love-seekers together since 1999.


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